Titans' War
by Freeze Dried Strawberries
Summary: The Teen Titans' are competing in Titans' War for a grand prize, with unpredictable game-show host Ryo Miyakozuka and special guest stars every five minutes! Rated T for infrequent swearing. This might be discontinued because of my stupid Google Drive account... I'm really sorry. But please, check out my other story! It's called "Not What You Expected" and it's BB/Rae
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

4:30 AM

Ryo: Good morning everybody!

Starfire: (snores loudly)

Beast Boy: Ohh... tofu... I love you...

Ryo: Ahem. Guys.

Raven: (mumbles a spell in her sleep, causing Robin to float up to the ceiling)

Ryo: (takes out violin and plays the Imperial March from Star Wars) Wake up, wake up~!

Beast Boy: No... not the meat... get that away...

Ryo: Um. Are you alive? (pokes Cyborg)

Cyborg: (snorts)

Ryo: (takes out a bullhorn and places it next to Robin's ear) IS THAT SLADE PLAYING WITH YOUR UTILITY BELT?

Robin: Gah! (somersaults off his pillow and lands on Beast Boy)

Beast Boy: Mmrh?! (flails around and hits Starfire)

Starfire: My torkus! (shoots a stream of starbolts in Cyborg's direction)

Cyborg: OH! IT BURNS! IT BUUURRRNNNSSS! (falls off his charger table onto Raven)

Raven: I hate you all.

Ryo: I see you are all up and ready for Titans' War?

Starfire: Please, what is this 'war of Titans' that you are speaking of?

Ryo: I will explain everything... after breakfast. Meet me in the common room at... (checks her watch) 7:00!

Beast Boy: (groans) 7:00... AM?

Raven: What do you think, genius?

Beast Boy: (mumbles some incomprehensible words and falls forward into his bed)

Chapter Two

7:00 AM

Ryo: (enters) Glad you all could make it.

Starfire: I am as well!... Although it was very delicious that all of the doors were locked and bolted.

Robin: I think you mean 'suspicious', Star.

Ryo: ^_^

Robin: So what's this Titans' War all about?

Ryo: Titans' War is a series of contests based on players' strengths and weaknesses. There will be eleven rounds. The winner of each round will win a prize!

Beast Boy: What, that's it? I was expecting a little more-

Ryo: I'm not finished. Prizes' value increase after each round. But if you consume/use your prize, it will not be counted in the final census! So whoever has the highest amount of prizes at the end of the game will win the grand prize!

Beast Boy: (whispers to Raven) What'd she say? All I heard was 'grand prize'.

Raven: (sighs) The prizes get better after each round, but if you use your prize, it won't be counted at the end of the game. The Titan with the most prizes at the end wins the 'grand prize'.

Ryo: Correct, Raven. Five points!

Robin: Points?

Ryo: You can earn points by answering questions correctly. For every 25 points you earn, you will have the chance to participate in a special challenge. If you can complete it, you will receive a free prize.

Robin: Cool!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Three

8:00 AM

Robin: 0 points, 0 prizes

Starfire: 0 points, 0 prizes

Cyborg: 0 points, 0 prizes

Beast Boy: 0 points, 0 prizes

Raven: 5 points, 0 prizes

Beast Boy: (rubs hands together) I'm so totally ready for my first challenge!

Ryo: We'll see about that... (pulls red curtains apart to reveal a large door)

Robin: Wha... wha...

Cyborg: I built every single brick of this tower. (scratches his head) I do not recall adding a secret entrance.

Ryo: Oh yes... I had my personal engineer add the extension yesterday... while you were asleep.

Cyborg: (narrows his eyes) Clever girl...

Ryo: Now, if you will all kindly follow me... (swings the door open)

Starfire: Uh... did I do the mentioning that I have the phobia of enclosed areas?

Ryo: In you go! (shoves Starfire into the dark hallway)

Starfire: (flails around) EEARRGH!

(The rest of the Titans walk into the hallway, followed by Ryo)

Cyborg: Whoa...

(The dark hallway leads to a gigantic lighted gym, complete with track and fitness equipment)

Ryo: Your first challenge is a simple relay race. The team that finishes in first will receive prizes for each of their team members.

Robin: Teams? You mean you're going to divide us up?

Ryo: Precisely. Five points for you.

Beast Boy: (whines) No faaaiiirrr! I don't have aaannnyyy points!

Ryo: Oh, you want points ehh?

Beast Boy: Heck yeah!

Ryo: Fine. Answer this question correctly and I will award you ten points.

(The rest of the Titans gasp, except for Raven, who smirks)

Ryo: What is two plus two?

Beast Boy: (sweats) Um, ah... tofu?

Robin: (facepalms)

Beast Boy: What? At least it rhymes!

(The rest of the Titans facepalm, except for Raven, who smirks again)

Ryo: Better luck next time. Anyways, since we have an odd number of contestants, we are introducing a sixth honorary Titan to compete in this round!

Starfire: Oh, how exciting! Who is this new person who shall be running in the 'race of the relay'?

Ryo: Welcome to Titans' War... BUMBLEBEE!

Cyborg: Aw yeah!

Beast Boy: Aw what?! But she can fly!

Ryo: So can Starfire and Raven.

Beast Boy: …

Ryo: Anyways, Team Alpha will be Robin, Star, and Cy. I'm putting the rest of you on Team Beta.

(Robin, Star, and Cy all high-five)

Beast Boy: Aw yeah!

Ryo: Okay, first up is Star and Bee. The rest of you can just line up.

(Starfire and Bumblebee take their places at the starting line)

Ryo: (hands a red baton to Starfire and a blue baton to Bumblebee) Are you ready?

Starfire: Yes, I most definitely-

Ryo: Readysetgo!

(Bumblebee takes off, leaving Starfire in a cloud of dust)

Starfire: (coughs) What just happened?...

Robin: C'mon Star! You got this!

(Starfire zips off after Bumblebee)

Beast Boy: Woo! Let's go team!

(Bumblebee makes it back to the starting point and hands the blue baton to Beast Boy)

Beast Boy: Alright! (runs off in the wrong direction)

Raven: (facepalms)

Bumblebee: (looks up) Hey BB! Wrong way!

Beast Boy: (turns around and runs off in the correct direction)

Bumblebee: (sweatdrops) Whew...

(Starfire makes it back to the starting point and hands the blue baton to Robin)

Robin: Thanks! (runs off)

(Beast Boy makes it back to the starting point in the form of a green cheetah)

Raven: (takes the blue baton from Beast Boy's mouth and holds it with two fingers) -_-

Beast Boy: What?

Raven: (glares at Beast Boy and walks off)

Beast Boy: Dude, go faster!

Raven: (continues at a normal pace)

(Robin makes it back to the starting point and hands the red baton to Cyborg)

Cyborg: Sweet! (runs off)

Raven: (looks behind her) Shit...

Cyborg: (passes Raven) Oh! Yeah! What are you going to do about it, huh?

(Cyborg, not looking where he's going, smacks into a nearby tree and falls over)

Starfire: Oh no! (flies over to Cyborg) Friend Cyborg, are you well?

Raven: (sweatdrops and walks past Starfire and Cyborg)

Beast Boy: That's my girl! (performs some version of a victory dance)

(Raven walks over to the finish line and hands the blue baton to Ryo)

Ryo: It seems we have a winner!

Bumblebee: (flies over) Awesome! You go, Rae!

Raven: …

Ryo: Here are the promised prizes for each of you! (hands the Team Beta members each a lollipop)

Beast Boy: Sweet, watermelon! (pops it into his mouth)

Bumblebee: BB, NO!

Beast Boy: (swallows it) What? What did I do?

Robin: Aw dude! Ah ha ha ha!

Starfire: (giggles) What is the funny?

Raven: And that's zero for the count.

Ryo: BB, did you not hear me when I specifically told you to NOT EAT YOUR PRIZE?

Beast Boy: Shit.


	3. Chapter 3

I don't own Teen Titans... and neither does my dwarf hamster, Oreo...

Chapter Three

8:00 AM

Robin: 5 points, 0 prizes

Starfire: 5 points, 0 prizes

Cyborg: 0 points, 0 prizes

Beast Boy: 0 points, 0 prizes

Raven: 5 points, 1 prize

Bumblebee: 0 points, 1 prize

Ryo: Congratulations to Team Beta! Nice try, Alpha Team.

Robin: (stands on one of Raven's spellbooks) I SHALL NEVER GIVE UP! AH HA HA HA!

(The rest of the Titans sweatdrop)

Raven: (uses her powers to pull the book out from under Robin's feet)

Robin: (falls to the floor) Wahh...

Cyborg: -_-

Ryo: Anyways, round two is going to be a cook-off!

Starfire: MARVELOUS! I have been preparing for this day since I was a young Glorknak!

Beast Boy: (sweatdrops) Uhh... that's great, Star...

Starfire: (beams) I am sure you are all looking forward to trying my new recipe!

Robin: Err... we are... yeah...

Cyborg: -_-

Starfire: I call it 'Ode To Robin'!

Beast Boy: (spits a mouthful of tofu into Cyborg's face) AH HA HA HA!

Cyborg: -_-

Raven: Will you please quit it with the '-_-'?

Cyborg: 030

Raven: -_-

Ryo: Okay, enough emoticons! Your task is to prepare a dessert for me! Because I'm totally starving!

Starfire: Glorious! Are you hungry for anything in particular, friend Ryo?

Ryo: Nope. There are only two rules: One, no meat or animal-based ingredients. I'm vegetarian.

Cyborg: Nooooo... not the meat bashing...

Beast Boy: (smirks) I'm starting to like this girl! Go veggie lovers, aw yeah!

Ryo: Two, you have to make your dish in relevance with the given topic. You will all pick a slip of paper out of this random top hat I found lying on the ground!

(Each Titan picks a slip of paper out of the top hat)

Ryo: You have one hour... begin.

(All of the Titans rush to the kitchen to start working)

-T-T-T-T-T-

ONE HOUR LATER...

Ryo: And... time! Come my little duckies, what do you have for meh?

Starfire: Oh, I would like to present my dessert first, please! I also looked in the useful book of recipes that Robin gave to me on the day of my birth!

Ryo: Excellent. Please step forward and state your theme and dessert. I will judge you based on the appearance, taste, and quality. Extra points will be awarded for effort!

Starfire: (places a covered dish on the table) The theme I selected from the 'hat of the top' was 'Hawaiian', so I made this!

Ryo: (covers her eyes)

Starfire: (uncovers the plate) They are 'kabobs' in which I impaled several chunks of fruit onto some long wooden sticks!

Ryo: (uncovers her eyes) Wow... I am genuinely surprised... it looks edible.

Starfire: Please, try them!

Ryo: (nibbles on one of the kabobs) Hmm... not bad! Seven points!

Starfire: Hurray!

Cyborg: Me next, me next. (places a covered dish on the table) I got 'French' as my theme, so here you go!

Ryo: (uncovers the plate) Cy?

Cyborg: Yes?

Ryo: May I ask why there is an assortment of shells on my plate?

Cyborg: Because... I MADE YA SNAILS! WOO!

Ryo: I have no comment. One point. Can somebody please remove this garbage from Earth?

Starfire: Well, because I am done with my judging of the desserts, I would be more than happy to assist! (takes the plate and crashes through the window)

Beast Boy: Eh, she'll be back.

Ryo: Well, what did you make, BB?

Beast Boy: Er, my theme was 'Spanish', but I don't know how to make custard flans... and the oven was broken.

Ryo: Ooh... tough luck! But a custard flan would have been terrific. Two points.

Cyborg: What?!

Beast Boy: LOL, I scored more points with nothing than you with snails! Ah ha ha ha!

Cyborg: ;-;

Robin: Well my theme was 'American', so I had many options. I decided on a strawberry milkshake!

Ryo: (takes a sip) I love strawberry. 9 points.

Robin: OH YEAH! (turns around) What are you suckers going to DO about it, huh?! HUH?!

Raven: I haven't gone yet...

Ryo: Sorry Rae, what did you make?

Raven: My theme was 'Asian'. I made herbal tea.

Ryo: Cool! (takes a sip) Uh, what did you put in it?

Raven: Herbs...?

Ryo: It tastes sort of salty... interesting...

Beast Boy: Oh yeah, I was using that cup for a tofu energy drink. ^_^ Sorry Rae!

Raven: You shall pay...

Ryo: I guess it's mostly BB's fault. Oh well, I'll give you six points. It looks like Robin wins this round!

Robin: OH YEAH! I WIN, I WIN, I WIIIIINNNNN!

Starfire: (crashes back through the window) I have returned! Who has won the cook-off?

(All of the Titans point to Robin, who is now dancing around on the table)

Robin: WOO!

Well! I hope that chapter was moderately humorous. Please no flames... what are flames anyways? Or lemons? Wdf are those things?

Sorry about my limited Fanfiction knowledge ;-;


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans. But man, it sucks for the people who do, since the show got canceled... At least we have 'Teen Titans, Go!'... which I also do not own... ;-;

Chapter Four

9:00 AM

Robin: 14 points, 0 prizes

Starfire: 12 points, 0 prizes

Cyborg: 1 point, 0 prizes

Beast Boy: 2 points, 0 prizes

Raven: 11 points, 1 prize

Ryo: Okay, are you ready for round three?

Robin: HELL YEAH!

Ryo: That was a stupid question on my part. For all you Titans with an IQ higher than a juice box, round three is going to be a spelling bee.

Cyborg: (crosses his arms) Finally, something for a Titan of such high intellect as mine...

Raven: You are a walking computer with a face.

Cyborg: I cannot argue.

Ryo: We have another special guest star here with us today... AQUALAD!

Aqualad: (crashes through the window with a starfish stuck to his face) Hello everybody.

(At this point, Starfire's eyes turn into big red hearts, while Raven scoots away from the screen)

Ryo: Welcome to Titans' War, Aqualad! How do you feel about being here today?

Aqualad: (pulls the starfish off his face and tosses it out of the hole in the window) Marvelous.

Ryo: Okay! It's Team Alpha's turn with the guest star, so Cyborg will be moving to Team Beta.

Cyborg: Alright! (moves to the other side of the room and crashes through the window)

Robin: What is with all of these people crashing through my window?

Cyborg: (crashes through the window back into the common room) Heh heh. I always wanted to do that. No harm done... I mean, since the window already has like fifty thousand holes in it. Right?

(The other Titans all turn to stare at the window, which is completely gone except for a small portion in the corner)

Cyborg: Hmm, it's not exactly even...

Robin: Heh, I can fix that! (pulls out a bird-a-rang and smashes the glass to bits)

(The other Titans all sweatdrop)

Ryo: Anyways, go sit down so we can start already.

-T-T-T-T-T-

(All of the Titans are seated in a row of chairs)

Ryo: First up is Beast Boy! Spell 'morph'.

Beast Boy: Uh... M... O... R...

Cyborg: (leans forward in anticipation) Aw dude, you spelled more than HALF of it correctly!...

Beast Boy: F?

Cyborg: (plops back into his chair) I knew it was too good to be true.

Ryo: Nice try, BB. Next up is Aqualad! Spell... hmm.

Aqualad: H-M-M.

Ryo: You idiot, I was going to say 'water'. Ah ha ha, GTFO.

Aqualad: Damn... so close. (jumps out of the window and falls, screaming)

Starfire: Aqualad...! (flies out of her seat and peeks out of the window)

Ryo: (waits patiently) So did he survive?

Starfire: (walks back to her seat) Luckily, he fell onto a nearby dolphin that was passing by!

Beast Boy: (groans) Dang it!

Ryo: Next up is Cy! Spell 'robotic'.

Cyborg: (recites) R-O-B-O-T-I-C.

Ryo: Since you're a robot there is no way to prove you weren't cheating. Sorry!

Cyborg: Nah brah, it's fine. Totally used to it by now. (gets up from his seat and joins Beast Boy in the corner)

Ryo: Next up is Robin! Spell... 'circus'.

Robin: (stammers) D-did you s-say... circus? Y-you mean, the k-kind of c-circus with elephants, a-and giraffes, and m-m-monkeys?

Ryo: (smirks) Yup.

Robin: O-okay, uh... C... E-

Ryo: Dude, sorry.

Robin: (gets up from his seat and joins Beast Boy and Cyborg in the corner)

Ryo: Next up is Raven! Spell 'pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis'.

Raven: P-N-E-U-M-O-N-O-U-L-T-R-A-M-I-C-R-O-S-C-O-P-I-C-S- I-L-I-C-O-V-O-L-C-A-N-O-C-O-N-I-O

Ryo: Sorry, it looks like you're out of time!

Raven: Typical. Just typical. (gets up from her seat and joins Beast Boy, Cyborg, and Robin in the corner)

Ryo: It looks like Starfire wins by default!

Starfire: (jumps up from her seat) GLORIOUS! What have I won?

Ryo: You win a sterling silver hairpiece in the shape of a butterfly to match your-

Starfire: (grabs the hairpiece) OH, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!

(The other Titans in the corner sweatdrop)

Ryo: Stay tuned for the next chapter... I mean, episode... or chapter? Whatever. Stay tuned for the next something-or-other of Titans' War!

Robin: WOO!

Cyborg: Dude, you didn't win.

Robin: I don't give a shit! WOO!


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans. Or Sephora. No makeup for me.

Chapter Five

10:00 AM

Robin: 19 points, 0 prizes

Starfire: 20 points, 1 prize

Cyborg: 8 points, 0 prizes

Beast Boy: 8 points, 0 prizes

Raven: 21 points, 1 prize

Ryo: Welcome back, viewers! Without further ado... round four is going to be... a fashion show.

Robin: Are you joking?

Ryo: I most certainly am not. Tell them, Malchior.

Malchior: (pops into the screen wearing a top hat and monocle) She most certainly is NOT. (leaves the screen)

Robin: You're joking.

Ryo: Seriously? I just had Malchior travel all the way from Britain just to tell you that I wasn't joking, and your puny mind cannot process three words?

Robin: You're not joking.

Ryo: Precisely. (pokes her head off-screen) Bring me the clothes!

(The boys all fall to the ground, screaming their heads off)

Beast Boy: Spare us! I'm too young to die...

Cyborg: I'm safe man, there's no way they've got my size!

Ryo: Don't worry Cy, I had everything custom-made to fit your muscular frame! ^_^

Cyborg: Damn it.

(A group of girls dressed in matching red dresses roll five gigantic racks of clothing into the room and leave immediately)

Ryo: Here you go! (shoves a clothes rack at each Titan) Select four articles of clothing from your rack. The Titan with the most style and confidence will be the winner of this round!

Beast Boy: None of you guys can even compare with my total sexiness and extreme manliness... and, uh... awesomely cool awesomeness... yeah.

Ryo: (sweatdrops) Right. Now go get dressed.

Beast Boy: (scurries off to his room) 'Kay.

(The rest of the Titans go to their rooms to get dressed)

HALF AN HOUR LATER...

Ryo: Time! Get your butts over here.

Cyborg: You said we weren't going to be timed!... but that's alright since I'm finished, ha!

Ryo: Excellent. Who wants to model first for meh?

Starfire: Oh, I would like to wall a tear to go first! Please, pick me!

Robin: (sweatdrops) You mean... 'volunteer'?

Starfire: Yes, yes! I have designed the most beautiful of outfits! (spins around) I am wearing a 'top of tanks' that is coloured purple-

Cyborg: We can all see what you're wearing...

Robin: ...and you look stunning.

(Starfire is wearing a bright purple tank top, bright purple miniskirt, silver shoes, and a bright purple sun hat with silver trim)

Starfire: Why, thank you!

Ryo: Hmm... I like it! Eight points! Hmm... whoever shall I pick next?

Starfire: I have a digestion, if you may!

Robin: Uhh... 'suggestion'?

Ryo: (sweatdrops) Yes, Star?

Starfire: Let us simply proceed in the order that we were in during round two of the cook-off!

Ryo: Great idea. Cy, you're up next.

Cyborg: (groans) Look at me, I'm so beautiful that you should give me full points... (raises his arms up unenthusiastically)

(Cyborg is wearing a blue sports jersey with white trim, white khaki shorts, blue high-tops, and a blue baseball cap with a white logo, turned backwards)

Ryo: Wow Cy, you've got some style! Seven points.

Cyborg: (perks up) Really?

Ryo: Yes, really. Next... BB!

Beast Boy: Aw yeah! Lights, camera... ACTION!

(A light in the common room flickers, while Cyborg's camera eye shuts down)

Cyborg: Dude, my eye! MY EYE!

Beast Boy: Wait for it... aw man... where's my action?

(At the same time, Bumblebee crashes through the recently fixed window carrying Aqualad by his hair)

Beast Boy: …

Bumblebee: Sorry! Technical difficulties at Titans' East. Can we crash here for a bit?

Cyborg: Sure-

Ryo: We're in the middle of modeling. Can you come back later?

Bumblebee: Sure! (flies off)

Cyborg: (pouts) Aw...

Beast Boy: Check out my epic, uber-cool sense of fashion!

(Beast Boy is wearing a green T-shirt with a dark-green dinosaur on it, baggy jeans, green sneakers, and an eye-patch)

Robin: (calls from inside his dressing-room) Dude, what's with the eye-patch?

Beast Boy: I don't know, I found it inside the jeans pocket and decided it would look pretty cool.

Ryo: Six points. Seriously, what's with that eye-patch? What are you, Captain Cool or something?

Beast Boy: Whoa... GREAT IDEA! (runs off)

Ryo: (facepalms) Next... hey, what are you wearing, ROBIN?

Robin: (grumbles) Woo, I'm so pretty.

(Robin is wearing a red T-shirt, skinny jeans, red sneakers, and his mask)

Ryo: Five points. Get rid of that mask, man...

Robin: No way. I'd rather... uh... I'm not taking it off, okay?

Ryo: (shrugs) And last but not least, Raven!

Raven: (steps out of the dressing room) …

(The rest of the Titans stare)

Raven: …What?

(Raven is wearing a lilac colored tube top, black miniskirt, black ballet flats, and black shades)

Ryo: Raven... full points!

Raven: …

Ryo: Here's a $50 gift card to Sephora! Enjoy.

Raven: (takes the card) Thank you.

Ryo: I had no idea you were so... cool.


End file.
